Tag: running

Adventures in running, Uncategorized

Ringing like a bell.

tec

Amidst all the pain this week, there was a fuck of a lot of action and showing up. I could have crawled in a hole and died. (It wouldn’t have lasted long. But still, I could have.) And I chose not to.

Instead I chose action because my progress doesn’t allow for anything else.

I’ve been steadily working on the garage. The thing I deadlined for July, is well on schedule to be completed before that. I’ve already followed through on donation runs and weekly trash removal. The gone stuff is gone. The progress feels really good and I’ve taken the time to pause and celebrate myself.

I’ve continued with my daily five to thrive, and tho I haven’t written pen to paper, I have my start today journal dreams. I listened to Rachel’s Girl, Stop Apologizing. I finished Jen Sincero’s You are a Badass.

I talked with R about how we can get her basement room going and I mapped out a plan and timeline in my head. I’ll get that on paper this week.

The thing I feel most accomplished about is six freaking minutes!!

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The reason that feels so good is because it was so fucking hard and I risked initiating contact so I didn’t have to do it myself, and it actually made a difference. I risked the ask and the universe showed up for me.

adventures in quarantine, Adventures in running, Uncategorized

I can breathe you in.

tec

Five fucking minutes.

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Apparently I ain’t got no time for fucking around. One day when I go back to C25K, it’ll be so interesting to run 90 second intervals.

For now tho, I’m just focused on turning my day around, remembering who I am, and being present.

adventures in quarantine, Adventures in running, Uncategorized

Anything but empty.

tec

I let the universe take care of me today. I let the people who love me turn my day around.

After I posted earlier, I went outside with the boys, but it wasn’t enough. My body needed to move. My mind needed to turn off. I employed R’s help with L and took off. I wasn’t even intending to run. I just needed to move.

I walked the first half, and then, suddenly, down a hill, barely with permission from my mind, my body started running. Experience tells me it was probably a minute thirty. It felt so good. Then I took off again after a short walk and that was probably 45 seconds. Then came the section I ran last night in two minutes. Today I timed it and it was a minute 45 and I didn’t want to forfeit the fifteen seconds, so I ran more. And then more. And again.

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Fucking two thirty! Amazing.

I needed a little extra walking time, so I added another side street, making the walk almost two miles.

I got home and my Chris was there, celebrating right alongside me. Fistbump explosions for days. Beaming with pride.

And then he let me just vent about my feelings. And then we came in and I needed to give a very dirt-covered L a bath. And I wasn’t expecting the company, but the company felt so fucking good and Chris and I just sat in the bathroom and kept talking while L took his bath.

He showed up for me so hard today. It means everything.

Adventures in running, Uncategorized

Way too up to back down.

tec

I RAN FOR TWO MINUTES!!!!!!

Holy moly!

I freaking basked in it.

I then made the slight mistake of looking up how long in distance that two minutes was. A bit shy of .2 miles.

I don’t know why suddenly that felt like a blow. Like I was farther from my goal. Like five more of those is undoable or something. But I suppose upon further recalculation and introspection, .2 miles in two minutes would be a mile in 10-12 minutes, if it was consistent. That ain’t bad! I’ll drive the distance tomorrow and see what it actually is. But, in any case. For now, I ran for two minutes!!!

adventures in quarantine, Adventures in running, Uncategorized

I’m marching on to the beat I drum.

tec

In light of yesterday’s awesome, I bit the bullet and did day1 week1 of C25K!!

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Holy fuck.

That was amazing and oww and amazing.

I gave myself an extra two minutes of walk time at the halfway point. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to complete the second half without it.

The second half was actually easier than the first, I think. You run 5 of 8 and then suddenly you only have three left and it flies. Craziest thing.

But I did it!!

And I did it in a neighborhood, with people passing and cars passing and a little girl (and her dad) who said hi and asked how I was while I was running and I still answered her back! I let them all be a witness to my greatness instead of feeling like they were all judging me.

Man. I am so fucking proud of myself for this run.

adventures in quarantine, Adventures in running, Uncategorized

Don’t let it go to waste.

tec

I wanted to get out and run all weekend. But I didn’t. I was kind of afraid.

All last week I walked the neighborhood with S. And I started running being I was brave for S, who was self-conscious to be running outside.

Then it was my turn to be brave alone, and I was like, well, no.

I did use that time to stretch. I stretched all freaking weekend. I did still walk Friday and Saturday. But I didn’t brave the run.

S got back today and I itched for it and made him come with me. I don’t think he loves it. I think, full on, he is humoring me. But that’s okay. I’ll take it.

But so today we walked and at the ten minute mark, I took off running (without S). Up a huge freaking hill. One minute. Check.

We walked some more and came to the huge downhill and we ran it together. One minute. Check.

We walked to the end of that cul de sac and played ball down there for ten minutes. All of which I never stopped jumping or running. Walked back. Ran one minute. Check.

Down another cul de sac and back. This is where S told me he could run down to the corner in a minute. And he fucking booked it. Another minute run. Check.

He took the street in a minute four and was wiped! I told him I aspire to his greatness and that one day we will run it together in less than a minute. Goals!

We walked a short distance more and I told him I was ready to run again. He wasn’t. I told him I’d loop back around. Run one minute. Check.

Almost home now. I feel so freaking good! I want one more run in. He’s dragging. I tell him I’ll loop back around again. One minute run. Check.

Holy moly. I walk it off for a couple more minutes and that was 40 minutes total, including the 10 minute ball playing pause. Six one minute runs. Check.

I’ve never in my life moved my body like this before. I always quietly knew my body was meant for this, but a lifetime of weight (emotional and physical) kept me from it. Life was heavy. Life is lighter now.

adventures in quarantine, Adventures in running, Uncategorized

Keep my composure when it’s time.

tec

I jacked up my knee(s) a bit. I’m thinking it’s patellar tendinitis. Seems the most likely culprit.

The universe was like “hold up, li’l girl” and then instead of stomping about it–because that would have really hurt–I said “okay” and I complied without complaint.

I am no less committed to my dream, though I certainly feel the affects of this injury on my heart.

Yes, it sucks and I’m trying to honor those feelings in myself. I don’t want to dismiss or compartmentalize them. It does suck and I recognize that. But also, I have the tools and support to navigate it.

I will keep chugging along.

From the start I have viewed this time as both training and running. Training wants to be the focus. I’ll ice and rest for now and then I’ll start strength training, increase walking, and focus on endurance in other ways. This isn’t a hard stop. It’s just a speed bump.

I still choose joy. I am still a runner.

Adventures in running, Uncategorized

The ground beneath your feet.

tec

Ohmygosh, guys, my legs!

I have never run that hard before. I’ve never pushed myself like that before. My thighs burn!! I ran so hard, I thought I might puke! It’s fucking amazing!

Today was 25 minutes of 30/30 with a two minute warmup and what was supposed to be a 3 minute cooldown, but I ran my runs so hard I continued walking after I stopped the clock.

Holy moly I feel amazing!