Tag: declutter

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I’ll carry these torches for you.

tec

“I’m not going to do extra if you aren’t going to do your part.”

I’ve been struggling with S not listening. For years now. Consequences nor rewards really make any difference. He’ll even weigh consequences to see if it’s worth it.

I know he has special things going on, but I know too it doesn’t have to be this unmanageable.

I have no current memory if I’ve written about the goals I decided for my 12 week class. I wrote about my 12 week class, right? Gosh, I feel so braindead. I have so many posts in my head waiting to be written.

I have four main goals. To have weekly one on one time with Chris and R and S. To get our home decluttered to its completion. To practice and adopt an abundance mindset. To get my official website launched.

One goal that I backburnered was the whole “our family is a team and we all have a role.” I delayed it, not because of its unimportance, but because I want to have a foundation in place first. I think a foundation can best be lain with one on one time. Baby steps. Boundaries are important too tho and this crazy phrase came out of my mouth this morning “I’m not going to do extra if you aren’t going to do your part” and I feel like this might be a turning point for me. It takes it away from S and puts my part back in my hands.

I’ll do my team player part. But I’m not doing extra when I’m not getting basic team playerness in return. And this is where mindshift meets backburnered goals!

I feel really good about this new boundary and affirmation for mindset.

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Repeat steps one through three.

tec

So. Hello. Welcome to the first edition of The Basement Chronicles.

I’m your host. The Incomparable Asskicker.

Ha. I get so cocky after just a week of action taking. (Okay…a couple weeks…)

Really, above anything else, I’m just really fucking proud of myself. I’m nowhere near done. I haven’t made any trash runs or donations drop offs. But I’m in the game and I’m just doing it and it feels really good.

I have pictures somewhere of my basement from a few years ago. Times it was at its worst or had just recently been organized but was still overflowing with stuff. I’ve never tackled it like this before. I’ve never led with such intent.

This is what it looked like February 6th when I began.

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That pathway was only there so we had room to get a new washer to the other side of the basement the week prior. Previously it had been a much smaller, much more treacherous pathway that was only used when we had to do laundry.

Progress #1. (2.6)

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I cleared off R’s art table because she hasn’t used it in over a year. I made it my “go through these” table. I wanted to have the hard work front and center, but know I didn’t have to put my energy there until I was ready. (I’m still not ready and that’s still perfectly okay.)

More to come of my progress soon! This is so exciting!

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Approach. Appear.

tec

I didn’t know what the rest of my day would look like earlier when I wrote. I felt on top of everything, but in that way where you are until you suddenly aren’t.

I finished my paper clutter pile from yesterday and tried to occupy L because Chris has the flu, as well as detox from another round of medicine that didn’t get here in time. I know he feels like shit physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically. I take great comfort in the fact that I am not the woman who contributes to that. That I don’t try to find (false) validation in making him feel worse. That I don’t have the means to feel better at someone else’s expense. Especially someone I love so much.

So I spent my day focused on me and my growth and my worth and betterment and evolution. And I was feeling so connected to me that I found connection with R and S and L too.

I taught S about time management. I empowered him with management of his own time, while giving him confines and boundaries to work within. I told him I was like the boss. “You gotta get this, this, and this accomplished by x time, but you manage the rest. You run your own show.” And he practiced in kind. Sometimes fast and sometimes slow. But it was his and I let him own it and he took pride in it.

I taught the same to R. “Do what you want with your last day of winter break, but any food trash needs to be cleaned by 5.” She argued she might not get it done by then and I countered reasonably and objectively, “You’ve got four and a half hours to do this one thing. Choose how you want to do it. You can wait til 4:55 and then haul ass picking up trash. Or you can do it all right now. Or you can do some now and some later. It’s your show. But ya got til 5, and if at 5 it’s not finished, your phone goes on the island until it is.”

No shame. No guilt. No tough love. No bringing up past anything. Just right here right now, reasonable objectivity. Might as well have told her the sun was gonna set by 5pm. Just a fact.

And she responded with the same respectful objectivity and it was barely even reluctant when she said, “okay”.

And L and I worked on puzzles together today. And I let it be his show and we made a game of it, but I never rushed him or did it for him. I let him lead.

I gave them the opportunity and then I stepped aside and let each of them shine today.

What a blessing and a joy to take me and my feelings and my thoughts out of the equation and just talk to them.

I was afraid I’d break today. I was hoping I’d be able to withstand the bend. Turns out I stood tall all day.

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Touching the edge of her skin.

tec

I’m doing Allie Casazza’s Declutter Like a Mother challenge for the third year in a row. I have lots of Allie stuff and she was literally the reason I got my house decluttered in the first place. A task that was no small feat, by the way. She taught me how to declutter and throw stuff away and make use of my space. Two years ago she changed everything for me.

I remember most of her principles and often redeclutter throughout the year, but it’s never as good–never as life changing–as when I do this challenge in January.

All of November and December I could feel all the clutter–all the stuff–bubbling over, and try as I might, I wasn’t adequately getting it out of my house and off my radar.

Wednesday I spent two hours doing the bathroom and hall closet. (This completely goes against her 30 minutes a day, I know.) She says to look at the room and decide what your intent is with it. I want a place that is clean and clutter free so it can be a place of peace. Honestly, that’s pretty much what I want from every space in my home.

Day one challenge was to throw away all the trash and stuff you don’t use in your bathroom. I did the hall closet too because that’s where the buildup goes.

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Day two was supposed to be trimming down all the excess, except I don’t have 15 bottles of concealer and two dozen lipsticks because I don’t do the makeup thing, so it was moot. I was going to at least wipe down the counters, but yesterday was nonstop and I went through a bunch of paper clutter and just, no. I didn’t wanna and so I never made time for it.

I call bathrooms a huge win and the feelings I feel from tangible, kinetic productivity is immeasurable. The spaces are clear. The trash is thrown away with no extras lurking for later. I feel full in a contented way for the first time in a while.

Up next: the kitchen.

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Inside of your hand.

tec

This morning felt sad. I could have wallowed in it. Or drowned in it. But that’s not so much my style. So L and I went to Target for a gift card I needed, and while we were there I got icicle lights for the living room.

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There is never enough light in here and this helps, without making it too bright. I like the feel of it, so I think I’ll get more tomorrow. After Christmas sales are cool like that.

I also packed up and organized L’s toy area. The clutter and excess is getting to me. I decluttered the top of Yoshi’s tank and put laundry away and picked up my stuff from our room.

And Chris asked the question, which opened up the opportunity for communication, which I took. And that always feels better.

Every chance I’m able, I’ll grab movement over stagnation.