This is why she’s my girl.
This is why she’s my girl.
My sweet girls taking over my bed.
And I got to do an unexpected walmart trip tonight with my favorite girl and her friend! That was fun. I wasn’t keen on the idea of having to go, but gosh, I like spending time with her.
I had a really great weekend. It’s also a four day weekend for the kids. I’ve genuinely enjoyed it so much. I’ll write about it tomorrow tho. I’m so tired. I’m gonna magazine peruse for pictures for my vision board for a little bit, and then pass out.
My daughter has taken to saying thank you to me recently. Try as I might to show gratitude for all things–to be the light in all the places–she has yet to emulate the skill at home. In fact, oftentimes I think she doesn’t do it at home on purpose because my optimism annoys her. I have heard many teachers say she is kind and inclusive and goes above and beyond. I usually only get glimpses of those.
But recently, she has brought that home sometimes. She’ll initiate play with L or look at him compassionately. She’ll call S an idiot more quietly. (It’s something…) She’ll say thank you as soon as she gets in the car when I pick her up. It’s all tangible progress and I’m so proud of her. I don’t take credit for this change in her, but it warms me.
I haven’t written in a long time. Again. I don’t even want to be writing right now.
I have been actively participating in life. I have been staying on top of responsibilities. Actions that, in the past, have paralyzed me. Phones call to find three different new doctors/specialists for my kids. More phones to set up appointments and preregistrations. More phone calls when something comes up and the doctor needs to reschedule. Filling out paperwork. Going to new appointments. Navigating my daughter’s desire to have nothing to do with me. Navigating my son’s desire to have no confidence in himself whatsoever. (Okay, he probably doesn’t *desire* this…but also…kinda?… He’s a conundrum.) Also add in school supply shopping and orientations. And R’s eye exams and new glasses.
I’ve wanted to tell actual stories about all these things, but after accomplishing all these really hard for me things, I’m just too exhausted to sit and write about them.
And now that I’ve typed all this out I have to navigate the sadness that I haven’t found room to do both act and process. I will need to be gentle with myself as I find a way to balance back out before I burn myself out.
In the meantime, I’m going to sit here with L for the first quiet morning I’ve had in weeks.
The best part of being a mom while driving is stopping on all the songs that my daughter dances to in the backseat.