I don’t want to wait.

I had this moment today where I realized I had had three constructively successful days in a row. And I wanted to take a picture of the meal I was making, but then I got self-conscious about my vegetables and chicken and rice and then I spiraled a little.

Later I made the decision to eat ice cream. And it’s totally cool that I changed my mind and decided something. I’m all for the lessons. But it felt a little too sabotaging and unnecessary.

Afterwards I was doing the dishes and thought “You made the decision. You weren’t supposed to make decisions. The whole point is to not make decisions. You made the decision this morning and your only responsibility was to follow through.”

So….no rough feelings about the decision. And also, decision making right now is more to my detriment than to my well being. It feels good to connect those dots.