I stayed up all night accidentally and now, suddenly, the sky is light and the birds are chirping away and it’s 4:57. My numbers.
I never got tired. Even now I’m not so tired. What a weird night. And a weird morning.
It feels like it was supposed to happen. This May turned June. This hallowed space and time.
I’ve been hiding for the past month. My vortex May turned into Chris’s vortex May. And I just spun.
I simultaneously floated and dragged my way through the month. Feet never properly touching the ground. I tried. Sometimes. And I succumbed others. Mostly I used those fine-tuned self-preservation skills to compartmentalize the month. Two months. Three.
I was kicking ass and taking names. At the start. And then some weight got heavy and I got tired. And then I chugged along. And then more weight. Until moving was the only thing I had. So I just kept doing that.
And it wasn’t all self-preservation. Those parts don’t make the mindful parts any less significant or successful. I’ll take it all. It just means a whole bunch of different terrain to navigate.
For now, I’m going to sleep for a few hours. And take the terrain again come (late) morning. It feels light again.